So I went to a Sushi bar for the first time last night. The place was upscale and yuppie and I think it may have been sponsored by IKEA. The sushi tasted kinda fishy...

Do the people that work at Phillip Morris get discounts on cigarettes? Are frequent smoke breaks looked upon favorably? Do employees get fired if they smoke a competitor's brand? Perhaps ironically, they make it extreamly challenging for smokers indulge in their habit. Oh the conflict of interest...

Sometimes new inventions are really a step in the wrong direction. Take automatic flush toilets for example. Half the time they don't work and half the time it flushes randomly and sprays your ass with toilet water (and not Eau de Toilet).

Actual Fortune Cookie fortune from Chinese restaurant in DC Chinatown: "You will have some new clothes soon."